I think I can.... I think I can

Ok so I haven't always been so gracious and complimenting about living here in this shithole... er Memphis. I have tried to see the positive parts instead of the negative parts...and trust me, I have looked.. but I always seem to end up on the short end of the stick. Coming from Canada, I guess that I was one of the many who fell for the whole "Gone With The Wind" kind of polite, southern charm image of the south. Boy was I wrong.

Being a musician, I was so excited about the prospect of living someplace that literally is one of the foundations of blues and southern gospel. I was so excited about investigating small little places that are rich in history and music. I was stoked about perhaps joining a local band even... and seeing where that would lead. Both times that I tried out... I was asked on the phone to give a sample of my voice ... so I sang a lil ditty. Both times.. 'oh wow... you have a great sound'. Then came the ominous voice.. "um... are you white or african american?". I'm white... does it really matter? "Sorry, you have a great voice, but the wrong color." WRONG COLOR??? *sigh*. I guess this part of the country really hasn't progressed as much as they should. SO ok... maybe I can just enjoy some of the local flavor and LISTEN to the great sounds I hear. But noooo... I'm asked to leave because it is a place for 'black folk" only. Jesus... I moved to Memphis... I didn't realize that I went back in time and the roles were reversed? Don't they realize that I didn't grow up around this crap? Can't they see in my aura or smell my attitude and see that I'm really not a redneck or bigot or racist?

I even saw a black man pushing a stroller with the cutest little twin girls, and when I stopped to look and coo at the precious little ones (those of you that know me know I ADORE children), his wife came running over and snatched them away giving me the death look like I was trying to steal their children. I just looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you have the most beautiful babies." This got me a look saying "FREAK!".

Then I get a job... FINALLY out and about meeting people.. maybe I can find a girlfriend and just settle in and enjoy it here. Two weeks into my job, a co-worker came in and closed my door and said "Can you stop working so hard, you are making me look bad. And I KNOW its because you are white and I am black". Um hello assbag... I'm from Canada... the land where if you don't work hard... someone WILL fire your unentitled ass, and there are 30 people waiting in line to replace you. Ok so obviously finding a friend at work is a no go. I trudge home hoping that I will meet some great outgoing gal in my neighborhood. Instead I have a note in my mailbox, inviting me to "ladies tea". I go... all excited and antsy. I get there, and pretty much it was the well hairsprayed, manicured, spackled on makeup'd, perfectly coiffed matrons of the neighborhood... not one even within 20 years of my age... taking it upon themselves to to berate me for having the audacity to ride my own riding lawnmower... and mow my own lawn.

Fastforward to last night. There I sat, eyes glued to the television set, watching the weather radar because once again we were under a Severe Tornado/Thunderstorm watch. All night I was there because they kept having tornados touch down to the east, to the north and to the west of me. 3 people died just minutes north of me. I have decided, I would rather have the snow. This shit is for the birds.

I'm still looking for that one good thing about Memphis. I haven't found it. Not.one.thing.