Why Me Lord?

Well, today begins a new day of adventure in my household. You see, my step-daughter... my adult step daughter, moved back in quite unexpectedly yesterday. I am feeling a variety of emotions about it, and am trying to be positive about the whole experience. I wasn't blogging back when I first moved here and got married, although I think it would have been very theraputic for me at the time. Sometimes I cannot believe how fast time has gone by, and other times I feel like I've been here for freakin ever! My step daughter was very against her father being happy. After all, shouldn't his life completely revolve around what she and her brother want every.single.minute? She was not just pouting and behaving like a spoiled child. She was 18 going on 19, and declared full out war. She slammed doors, stole everything she could from me, even stupid things like when I would take out meat from the freezer for dinner and leave it thawing while I was at work... she would invite someone over and cook it during the day just to spite me. Ohhh yessss sports fans, Pammy was a happy camper. I was very gracious, and trying to be understanding, and quite frankly, had they been small children who were missing their mom, I would have been even more understanding. But the truth was, he was a single dad for 10 years before he married me, and one was an adult while the other was 16. Come on.

I tried reasoning, I tried talking, there were punishments (and believe me I AM consistent), and every other sane thing I could come up with. I feared being the typical "evil step parent", and I resented that she was trying to mess with my marriage right from the beginning. My husband and I had been married for 4 months, and during that time we had not been out alone together once. We planned a night out, dinner and movie etc, and had a great time. We got home at 11:30pm to find that the exorcist had taken over my step daughter. "How dare you take her out and not me?! How dare you leave me alone? You can't love her AND me, it has to only be one of us!? My response? *SLAP* Snap the fuck outta it!

Heeehee.. hohoHA!

It was much deserved, and quite timely, and it did shut her up. It did not, however, do very good things for my husband. You see, he has trouble remembering that she is a grown woman, and sees her as this helpless little girl (that manipulated the fuck out of him when her mother left them). And she has made sure that he has paid dearly. Every minute that she is in the house has to be about her. If there is a conversation going on, about anything, even serious issues, she will butt in and immediately go, "uh yeah, but about me.... blah blah blah". Very annoying.

The last time she lived with us, she was told that she had to go and be responsible for herself. Get a job, pay her rent, and be productive. This of course, came after a run in with me, and her father had (thankfully) had enough. I had been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, and it turned our lives upside down. My OB was amazing and had me scheduled for surgery within 10 days of diagnosis. That was the worst 10 days of my life. Of course my husband was strong and completely focused with me on overcoming this, and it took away his attention from my step daughter. He went to work as usual during those days, but I was at home, alternating between stressing the hell out and trying to get lots done before my 6-8 week recovery time from surgery. This was the time that she decided that she could get me to "finally" react, and do something so aggregious that her father would make me leave. Anyone who knows anything about cancer and about surgery, knows that the key is to lower the stress. Not this spawn of my husbands loins. Nooo. Here I was in a strange country, without any family or support, without my best friend... hell without A friend, and I was going through this. Will's had to be drawn up, calls were made, wishes were written down. You name it, I did it.

The day before my surgery was D-Day. The day my well laid plans to remain respectable came to an end. Before that day I was the commander of my own emotions, and not once did I waiver. I was the most bitchin step mom ever! I rocked bitches! *sigh* But I digress. I woke up anxious, because they would not know the extent of my cancer until they went in, and I was a wreck. I stayed in our room, and just turned on music, laid in the jacuzzi and tried to relax. My mistake was going down to the kitchen to get some water to drink. She was there, and she was not happy that she was being ignored. She walked by me, between me and the island, while Im getting water and her sole purpose for this was to shoulder me... trying to get me going. I Put my glass down slowly in the sink, backed away while she spit fireworks out of her ass and calmly said... 'today would not be a good day to try this, because today, I will meet you there, and I will knock your teeth down your throat. You choose." I turned to go back upstairs, and I get pushed from behind and "FUCK YOU!" yelled at me. 10, 9, 8, 7, (hold my breath) 6, 5, " what are you gonna do about that bitch?" 4, 3,2,1. I turned and just said between clenched teeth... back off. BAM, pushes again and raised a fist, and thats when pammy blacked out, saw red, the fuse reached capacity. All I know is that she ended up on her ass, in the middle of the floor.. holding both her nose and her ass.... and I was standing over her with my foot on her chest, screaming like a banshee at her to not move or I would make sure she couldn't get up again. I picked up the phone, dialed my unsuspecting husband, and when he picked up... "You better come get your fucking daughter before I kill her. NOW!" I think he drove the 40 miles in record time, and it was a reckoning that I am sure she didn't count on. And I ... was not very proud.

For now, I am trying to be positive, and remain calm. I'll keep you posted.