Loony Limericks
This has been a week of laughter for me. Don't get me wrong, I needed it... badly. I have sorta taken on the attitude this week, that the rest of the world can kiss my rosey arse, I am going to stop and smell the flowers a bit. Or in this case, I am going to stop and laugh said arse off :). In our family it was sort of a contest, to be able to remember and recite at will limericks that were a tad raunchy, with the faces and body language silly enough to make everyone laugh. Enjoy, and if you have one you would like to share, please do!
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There once was a man from milas
Whose balls were made of fine brass
One night in stormy weather
They clanged together
And sparks shot out his ass
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Pickled pepper picker Peter Piper
Pined to pack his pecker in a porker
He poked a porker's pucker
With his pepper-pickers pecker
Now he's Peter Piper Porker Pucker Poker!
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If there's shit on your hat, then declare it.
As for me, I don't think I could bear it.
It was dropped by a foo,
(A big bird at the zoo,)
And if the foo shits you must wear it
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Her lips were as pink as a rooster's dink,
Her hair was horse-shit brown,
Her tits hung loose,
Like the balls of a moose
As she trucked all over town.
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Before you should venture to shack her,
Or boldly try to attack her,
Please don't be a bubba.
Just reach for a rubba.
You should first put a wrap on your wacker!
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Those long lovely legs on Ms. Fitz
I'd sure like to see where they quits!
I know it's somewhere
In a soft patch of hair
Just north of the place where she sits!
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Whose balls were made of fine brass
One night in stormy weather
They clanged together
And sparks shot out his ass
------------------------
Pickled pepper picker Peter Piper
Pined to pack his pecker in a porker
He poked a porker's pucker
With his pepper-pickers pecker
Now he's Peter Piper Porker Pucker Poker!
-------------------------
If there's shit on your hat, then declare it.
As for me, I don't think I could bear it.
It was dropped by a foo,
(A big bird at the zoo,)
And if the foo shits you must wear it
-------------------------
Her lips were as pink as a rooster's dink,
Her hair was horse-shit brown,
Her tits hung loose,
Like the balls of a moose
As she trucked all over town.
-------------------------
Before you should venture to shack her,
Or boldly try to attack her,
Please don't be a bubba.
Just reach for a rubba.
You should first put a wrap on your wacker!
-------------------------
Those long lovely legs on Ms. Fitz
I'd sure like to see where they quits!
I know it's somewhere
In a soft patch of hair
Just north of the place where she sits!
-------------------------
posted by Vixxen | 1:38 PM
8 Comments:
When I was young I had no sense.
I went and pissed on an electric fence.
It shocked my dick,
it shocked my balls,
it made me shit in my overalls
All text aside, that Purple Hippo made me laugh the most. :)
bwahaha! Sam.. I love it. For some reason, limericks always get me giggling!
MonkeyB... I put him there just for you. WHO's YOUR MOMMA! *snort*
Slap me like you hate me MOMMA. I came back just to see that again. *HOWL*
Whoseyourdaddy Whoseyourdaddy WHOSEYOURDADDY!!!!
*slap slap slap*
:D
The woodpecker pecked at the school marm's door
He pecked and he pecked 'til his pecker was sore
So he flew away to a flowery dell
And ne'er came back 'til his pecker was well.
There was once a man from Cazair
Who banged his wife on the stairs,
The banister broke,
He gained a stroke
And finished her off in mid air
There was a young girl from Hoboken
Who thought her cherry had broken,
From riding her bike
On a cobblestone dike,
But really twas broken from pokin'
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