Hello... McFly!

It has been a long time since I've commented on stupid people news stories, but after last night's evening news broadcast I cannot resist. If natural selection was indeed allowed to play out, I am guessing neither of these stellar members of my community would exist. Is there any wonder I despise Buttcrack?

Moron #1 – This grandmother was in her home, along with her 11-year-old grandson who lived with her, when a fire broke out. The fire demolished the woman's house as well as her neighbor's home and severely damaged a second neighboring house on the other side. 12 people are now homeless. The grandson started the fire by playing with a lighter on the mattress his grandmother was sleeping on. When she awoke, she reacted by trying to shove the mattress outside. It got stuck in the doorway, thus the whole house went up.You might think that is the stupid part. Actually, my favorite part of the story was the grandmother's interview on the broadcast last night. And I quote, "He always play wit matches and lighters. He always startin' fires. I guess he likes da smell or sumthin'. I doan know wat his problem is." Beautiful. Despite the fact that this kid obviously had some serious problems that were ignored, I guess 15 minutes of fame is more important than a liability suit. Then again, $20 says they don't have insurance.

Moron #2 – My personal favorite. A woman was arrested this week on felony child abuse and neglect charges. You see, earlier in the day she had gone to Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court for a custody fight, presumably to argue that she is a good and fit mother. And where was her 6-month-old daughter while she was in court? A police officer noticed her locked in Mom's car in the parking lot.

Moron #3 - I could go on and on about this lovely idiot.. er piece of work.. er honorable Mayor of our illustrious city, however his own words speak volumes. And I quote... "The only way to institute change, is when the education of the white students in the surburbs is affected."

Nuff Said.

To think, we have laws to protect people like this from themselves. Nothing like diluting the gene pool.

And Then There's Maude...

Ok, so I have been giving more thought to Pimp Daddy Kish. Isn’t that a great little nickname? I know, I’m so precious I can’t stand myself. So anyway, I was thinking about some stuff he told me.. that he lived on a beach and loved going out and sitting by the water at night and thinking.. just him and the stars. Sounds decadent doesn’t it? So then I started asking about his home, and his book library, and the décor etc… and well he again was elusive.

In my mind’s eye it was one of those beautiful boutique looking villa’s, you know the kind with the stone walls and the ceramic tiles, and the erotically sculpted trees out front that look like an altar to the phallus gods? Really hip in a silent but deadly filthy stinking rich kinda way? And since he is The Sultan… his master bath would of course be all done in glass so that he could be the King of all he surveys while he sits on the toidy in a half frosted half clear glass bathroom, doing the peek-a-boo poop and pee thing. Totally uncool to us girl folk, but men dig BM stuff. But his design totally makes up for that gross design contretemps with a made-for-porn six-nozzle shower that gives better rim jobs than most porn stars.

What I really wanna know though, is how someone could live in this kind of luxury, and and still almost get run over by a herd of cows???? WTF does he live that cows are on his beach??!

And then there was the incident about wearing a dress…. But I will continue with that juicy tidbit at another time. For now, I am pondering whether or not he really is a porn star.

To be continued….

Curiouser Georgette

I was giving my mysterious 007 friend some more thought, and in between making me laugh, or making me more curious, he really is a good guy yanno? I still am left to wonder about some things though. For instance. Just recently, we had a complete discussion about menstration, and how all of his female friends are on the same cycle. He's a guy... and he even had a better gross out pms story!! Is he gay?? No.. definitely not gay.. and how I know this.. is just none of your beeswax. Is he a Pimp Daddy? Well that definitely has better possibilities than the gay angle, especially since he seems to always have someone of the female persuasion either hanging off him, calling him, trying to guilt trip him (thanks mom) or otherwise browbeat him into doing their bidding. Dumb heifers haven't learned yet that he is not one of "those" men. Tee hee.

I seriously think he should write a book about his mis-adventures. He is a wonderful writer, and wow can he make me laugh. It is a little scary to know though, that if I were born in some third world country where the moral and cultural expectations are a little different than North America (forgive Kentucky and Arkasas, they know not what they do), I could be his mother. *GASP*. His mother??? WTF? Ok thats not a thought process I even want to remotely entertain.

Back to being a PD though. That has some merit you know. He has money... and he has a lot of time. So.. his ho's could be doing the nasty and he is just collecting the reward. Yeah thats it. He's the Lothario... yes.... thats it... The Lethal Lothario of Brunei. Sultan's have a lot of ho's er women too yanno.